I posted this response today on my dear Summer's blog...
I felt it was too important to not do the justice of posting it on my own blog.
Sometimes you just need to break down so that you can get back up. This morning, I did just that. While on the phone with my mom I let myself cry...about life, my job, our puppies...about how i'm scared to let go and relax because when I do something else is just going to happen. How I can't sleep, I can't keep going and I haven't done anything with my whole heart in a long time... I want this to be over. To focus on my wedding and on being hapy...but its just another source of stress. My mom told me to do something for me...so when I got off the phone with her I did my workout...I relished in the stretches and listened to my muscles as they stretched, pulled and started to relax.... and when I was done I grabbed a new book, "Eat, Love, Pray" took it outside and read it... I didn't get far because I kept stopping. I would read a paragraph and stop with tears in my eyes speaking out loud for god (or myself) to help me. The book is much the same, and with each action that is taken by the writer, I would journey along with her. Breathing deep, saying outloud what I thought and trying to remember a time when I recognized myself as a friend.
Sometimes you just need to breakdown, and build back up the pieces...
Today I think I found my corner piece. :)