June 28, 2010

I found the corner.

I posted this response today on my dear Summer's blog...
I felt it was too important to not do the justice of posting it on my own blog.
Sometimes you just need to break down so that you can get back up. This morning, I did just that. While on the phone with my mom I let myself cry...about life, my job, our puppies...about how i'm scared to let go and relax because when I do something else is just going to happen. How I can't sleep, I can't keep going and I haven't done anything with my whole heart in a long time... I want this to be over. To focus on my wedding and on being hapy...but its just another source of stress. My mom told me to do something for me...so when I got off the phone with her I did my workout...I relished in the stretches and listened to my muscles as they stretched, pulled and started to relax.... and when I was done I grabbed a new book, "Eat, Love, Pray" took it outside and read it... I didn't get far because I kept stopping. I would read a paragraph and stop with tears in my eyes speaking out loud for god (or myself) to help me. The book is much the same, and with each action that is taken by the writer, I would journey along with her. Breathing deep, saying outloud what I thought and trying to remember a time when I recognized myself as a friend.
Sometimes you just need to breakdown, and build back up the pieces... 
Today I think I found my corner piece. :)
Jenni

6 comments:

Kayla said...

You've made my day with this post. I had the same reaction when I read the book too. It was so moving and great.

Also that girls puzzle hair is amazing.

Caroline said...

Sending you a hug!!!! XO

Summer {Bisfor...} said...

you are so dear to me and i want to make sure when you cannot find your little corner that you know you can always come over to mine and vice versa!

Liz said...

hello love...

your mom is totally right, never stop doing something for yourself. i read what your saying and hope that my words can aleviate you in some way or at least feel that you are not alone. we all care about you and want nothing but the best for you. you have so much to look forward to. you have a great fiance who loves and supports you. it is all part of life, part of growing up. a stepping stone if you would. i have confidence in you that you will shine through and best of all HE is there every step of the way go give you the extra push.

much love to you always. smile for us. oxoxox

~liz

Marian said...

This is so touching!!! Let us know if you need anything Jenni!!

xoxo

Simone said...

Oh Jenni....I am really behind with my blogging, I have been offline for almost 3 weeks.....I have missed so much.

I am glad that you let it all out, you have to....you have been really strong under so much stress....you are only human and you have to be kind to yourself....altho I know you have the lovely Spencer to be kind to you too :)

I am reading the same book as you....and keep stopping and starting too, it's a great read.

Off to catch up with the rest of your news....thanks for sharing honey xoxo