An odd feeling...

I have had an off weekend and it all started friday afternoon at around 3:00 when my aunt called. My grandfather, on my dads side, was admitted into the ICU and family was being contacted because they feared he wouldn't make it. For most families when something like this happens they would call family members and everyone would rush to the hospital....my family is a little different.
When I was around 4 years old my grandfather brought gifts for my sister and I on christmas day. I barely remember the day other than my sister and I sitting there shaking the presents and my grandfather standing in the doorway as my parents had a serious conversation with him. He left and I remember my father crying. The reason for all of this was that as he was leaving he was telling my parents that ties were to be severed and we can't see each other again. It was completely out of the blue. My parents fought him about it asking if they could at least bring the girls (my sister and I) over to see them. but he said no, and as far as i'm aware, never gave an answer as to why. His wife is not my grandmother and She has never really liked my family.
After about 10 years they slowly came back into our lives. There was one christmas that they stopped by, they came to my high school graduation, he came to my sisters wedding (she did not) and there were maybe a handful (4-5) visits over the years. A few weeks ago when my aunt (his daughter) visited from florida we (my aunt, cousin, sister, Collin and i) met him for lunch. To say we are estranged would be a gross understatement, because I was only 4 years old so to me he was just not there. I barely know him. In addition my father had a mid-life crisis 10 years ago and left my mom for another woman, He said horrible things to my sister and I and basically lost his entire family. My aunt, his uncles and aunts, his best friends. Pretty much everyone he was close to he no longer has contact with.... so when my aunt called me it became a scramble to figure out how to get hold of people. Trying to figure out who might have been called by the hospital and who doesn't know yet and who would be the best person to tell those people.
I feel a lot of guilt. I feel like I should be worried for my grandfather or want to go see him... but the only way I can describe what i'm feeling is by relating it to is finding out someone I went to high school with, but didn't really know, is sick. A feeling of, "thats too bad". I haven't cried,and I don't feel the need to...but I feel heavy and worried. I'm worried about my aunt, my father and my sister... I'm worried with how they are dealing with it all and i'm hoping that he will pull through for them. If you could please say a prayer for him, I would appreciate it. His name is Newton Brown.


On a brighter note I bought our christmas tree on friday night! It's a beautiful pre-lit 7.5' tall tree and only 3' wide!! It's sooo tall and skinny! I love it! It even has a few little pinecones sporadically placed on it. I can't wait to go buy a tree skirt and new tree topper for it!!! We have a little 4" tree too that I may end up putting in the back room as well. :)

...and today is Spencer and I's 3-year anniversary!!! This photo was taken of us last year after an amazing dinner at the American Restraunt. I think we're going to go celebrate later this week but tonight we are having dinner with our parents. My mom felt bad because she didn't get to spend much time with them at our housewarming party so we're having dinner together at the Hereford House at 6:00 tonight so they can get to know one another. :) I think I may get some greenery to put outside too. :) I love greenery and red berries and twinklie whtie lights at christmastime!

...and Mia is now ranked 29 out of 861! Go Mia!!!!!!


I saw New Moon. Some of Spencer's co-workers were going to the 10:00 showing last night so we went along with them. He said I needed to get my mind off of things...and he was right. Now, I know I may get some angry comments from this but I absolutely HATED the first movie. I thought it was downright awful and they didn't explain things well enough. I went with someone who had read the book and 2 people who hadn't. The two people who hadn't had no clue what was going on. particularly with Jasper's charactor. They had no idea why he acted so weird and guessed that maybe he was "special" or "rode the short bus" hahe. The added-in line of "come with me my spider monkey" and the row of 13 year olds behind us saying in explicit detail what they would do to him....well, it left a bit to be desired. But I was curious to see this movie because of the change in director and it was actually suprisingly good. I won't say its in my top 25 movie list or anything, but it was entertaining. (although I think its funny everyone is going nuts over Edwards abs....and hate to break it to you...but they are painted on.) Overall I gave it 4 out of 5 stars. Liked it, but not loved it.

I hope everyone has a fabulous sunday and a great start to the week!!!!!