December 15, 2009


Last friday my grandfather passed away. There will be no funeral, there will be no tears shed. He wasn't the type of grandfather who bounced me on his knee when I was little. He wasn't the grandfather who told silly fart jokes and make me giggle and blush. He wasn't the type of grandfather whose face lit up at the site of me.
This grandfather was just ... a grandfather. No silly stories, or endearing moments are left in my memory. What I am left with is a fascination for toy trains. A memory of watching the train go around the tracks and through the tunnels, and wanting desperately to play with them.
To say i'm not affected by this death is not true, but it's not sorrow or grief I am feeling. On the contrary I feel thankful. I'm not thankful that he died. I am thankful for other reasons that are close to my heart. And all of this has opened my eyes to what I have in my life, and how very lucky I am. I have my health. I have a warm place to come home to and escape the bitter cold that has attacked Kansas City overnight. I have a home. A life. A love.

Right at this moment I am thankful for:
*The peanut M&M's i've had stashed in my desk since Halloween.
*A lunchtime spent watching. "Preo & Landing", and cuddling with my little Ms. Fancypants .
*Having a warm home to escape to when so many people are freezing outside and have no home to go to.
*A nice cup of coffee brewed fresh at home.
*Spencer. He is my best friend, my significant other, the love of my life and the father to my puppies! Every single day I love him more.

* You make my day easier to get through, and I can't wait to listen to the new Nine soundtrack! I had no idea Kate Hudson could sing!
*5:00 today. Christmas presents have been wrapped, school has been finished and I am looking forward to an evening laying on the couch and snuggling with my fur babies!

What are you thankful for today?


carrie1 said...

Sorry to hear about your grandfather. =(

But on a happier note... are those your gift tags???? Because they are super cute!

Kym said...

sorry to hear about your grandfather but i admire the way you look at it... no need for sorrowful tears, but instead be thankful for the life we have! :)

today, i'm thankful that my workplace is so warm and welcoming... they surprised me a bar of handmade soap, starbucks giftcard, and a christmas card on my desk this morning! :)

Ashley Thalman said...

Such an honest and real reflection on what it feels to experience death...

Anonymous said...

Love ur pups!!

Rasha (andthisiswhatshesaid) said...

Great post love.

and kate hudsen singss...? il over her.

KLaw said...

Oh honey, I'm sorry to hear. No matter how close you are or not, its always difficult.

I have a question for you... would you be able to do some graphics for my blog? Like a new header? This is for ANOTHER blog of mine (I'll tell you through email). I just want something fun, kinda something like you have up there. I'll pay you :)

Anonymous said...

i am soo sorry to hear about your grandpa Jenni. i think you are an amazing person and really look up to you. let me know if there is anything i can do... i think the m&m's will help heal eat lots :)

Cristin said...

what great things to be thankful for! :)

Sara-Jane Elizabeth said...

I am so sorry about your grandfather, but I completely understand. You have so much to be thankful for :)

Carol said...

I'm so sorry to hear that...