March 10, 2010

This too shall pass

I am completely in awe and amazed by all of the women who read this blog. For the past week I have received encouraging emails, comments and kind thoughts from women across the world. You have all inspired me in some small way and reminded me to keep pushing, To keep believing and to stay strong. Thank You.

This is definitely one of the harder things I have gone through in a long time. Last week I came home from class, and was just sad. I walked up to Spencer, I hugged him and I said, "I have no purpose. I have no reason to get out of bed... I need a purpose" Spencer hugged me and told me he would be my purpose. I told him that it wouldn't work because he made me want to stay in bed and cuddle with he said he would be my porpoise. He'd be cute and make me giggle. He is my porpoise.

I took a week away from this blog. I needed the time to gather my thoughts, to prepare my resume and to begin the search for a new job. So far I have sent out around 25-30 applications. Some of them I fit the qualifications for perfectly and some are a bit more of a stretch but I don't see the point in not trying. As Spencer's sister so eloquently put it I'm "so positive that rainbows could fly out of my ass in a hurricane". Pretty vivid imagery, but I don't see the point in not reaching out and pushing my own potential.

Life has hit me down many times, and each time I tell myself that things could never be worse. That the world is ending, and my life has officially gone down the crapper... but each time I persevere and in the end everything works out better than I imagined it could. I know that this time it will be the same.

I've decided i'm going to use my time off for myself... I want to accomplish many thing...

I want to keep exercising. I took the last week off, but I plan to jump right back in today. There is no point in sitting on my butt and putting all of my hard work to shame.
I am going to work ahead and finish all of my schoolwork early. Get a jumpstart on the semester and pour my heart into it to get my well deserved A.
want to read all of the books i've been putting off. Angels & Demons, the Time Traveler's Wife, the His Dark Materials series.... I want to read.
I want to run the dogs. Play with them. Train them.
I want to lay outside in the sun and enjoy the coming spring days.
I want to prepare wonderful and healthy lunches for myself. To love the ingrediants, to savor the smells.
I want to dance. I want to be happy. I want to run.

All of these things are going to be possible. All of these things are going to happen.

Things are looking up. Just this morning I won the beautiful Kelly Moore Camera Bag from the Brightside Project. Now I just need to choose my color!


or grey?

This is the perfect sign of great things coming.



Summer {Bisfor...} said...

now that i am thinking more and more about it and since you have a fucshia-ish purse already, get the grey. so glad you won. i saw that this am and was so happy for you.

as for porpoises, you are the cutest one of all.


KatieSPerk said...

I am so proud of you. Your attitude is exemplary & inspiring! You are amazing and will find the perfect job!
Congrats on the bag!!

Rasha said...

These are great qualities! I love them... and I know you will finish them all.

I love the fushia one!! its so fun, but grey goes with so much more??

and I wub you.

Carol {Everyday Delights} said...

I love your positive outlook - I know something great will come along soon!!!! I would vote grey, but you can't go wrong with either!

Blair @ Reasonably Swanky said...

What a great will find the perfect job. sho!

Morgan said...

First, I'm so sorry to hear about your layout. I don't know how I missed the first post but I am so very sorry. I hate that we live in a reality of people losing their job so freely everyday. But sounds like you're doing the right thing and putting yourself out there. And hooray for winning the bag. Go fuschia!!
Keeping you in my thoughts!

Laura said...

i'm glad you're back! you'll have a job before long, so do what you can to enjoy your time off. i like the list of ideas you have so far. keep hanging in there, girl!

Lace said...

Well, I kind of want to make out with that fuschia one, but you couldn't really go wrong with the grey either! Congrats to you lady cakes!

p.s. Can you please shoot me a mailing address in an email? lacey_inthesky@yahoo :D thanks sweets!

brittany said...

you are so inspiring with this new attitude of yours! you can and will get another job. i'm sure of it.'s almost spring :)

ChloƩ said...

Jenni! i am so sorry i missed your last post.. i had no idea.. i am so sorry girl! i too have been laid off before. it was about 2 years ago and i was devastated. but i ended up getting an even better job where sean works and we started dating and the rest is history! at the time i would have said it was the worst thing ever..but now i think it was the best thing that ever could have happened! hang in there girl! you are so amazing! i love you tons! let me know if you need anything!!

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Congrats on the prize! I know how hard it is NOT to work when you've been working so long. It is a really great time to catch up on all those things you never got to do though. Above all keep that awesome attitude because there will be down times, but you get through them.

Gwen said...

I'm so proud of you for looking at the bright side of things. And you should totally apply for everything you would want to do. Even if it is CEO. You never know what companies are really look for. :) Congrats on the bag win!!! How are you ever going to choose which one to get? I can't wait to see all of your stuff organized inside once you get it. XOXO

KLaw said...

All of these things would make me happy too! And that quote? I die. So cute! Hope you feel better soon. Lover you.

Meagan@Megs7827 said...

Keep shooting rainbows out your butt! Something good will happen!

Laura said...

I absolutely love your attitude during this trying time! I'm going through something similar and it's nice to know that I'm not alone! I'm keeping your fingers crossed for your job search! :)

Anonymous said...

Jenni, I am so glad you are back and sounding so happy and positive. Your phones will be ringing off the hook and sure you will get that job soon.

Anonymous said...

Darling, everyone is in piss-poor shape right now. I had a nervous breakdown last week because I was worried that I would never be able to move out of my parents' house because my $300 per month car payment would prevent me from being able to afford rent for the next 4 years I have this car payment. I think I only have one friend out of many who is actually successful and loving her job right now...
But you have your Sir, and doggins, and obviously much support in the blog world! I think you'll be doing just fine, even if things look grim. Besides, I'm a fatalist; perhaps it was destined for you to go through this crunch to lead into something better?
PS: definitely definitely definitely read His Dark Materials. I never read it as a child and read it for the first time only 6 months ago, and it damn near changed my life!

Nicole said...

Oh I love the His Dark Materials series... some of my favorite books! Good luck and keep up the great attitude.

Annie said...

i love your positive attitude hun! :)
enjoy your days!
how awesome for the win!! i like the fuschia would be perfect for spring!

Kimbirdy said...

What a great reframe - that not having a job will be a perfect time for you to take care of you! And I agree with you that it's great to send out as many resumes as you possibly can. It's hard out there right now, so as long as you have the paper, get your name out there! And Spencer being your porpoise is the cutest thing I've ever heard!!! What a great man to have by your side!

PS - I don't think I would have many things that would match a fuschia bag. however, I really like fun colorful bags on other people. Just putting that out there. ; )

Simone said...

Hi honey, so good to read your post, you have been on my mind this week.

It's so inspiring to read that you are so positive.....and love Spencer for being your porpoise.....good job you snapped that fabulous man right up before anyone else did, he is so lovely!!

Keep busy and do all those things that you want to do....I have a feeling it won't be long until something really good comes along for you Jenni.

Be strong sweetie xo

PS Have been focusing on what you told me about exercising....been to the gym every day so far....thank you for the encouragement!

CAPow! said...

I definitely know the feeling!
(and even though I am usually NEVER a pink kinda girl, I would totally pick the pink bag!)

Muddling Along Mummy said...

You're doing so great taking a bad thing and making it something positive - good luck in the job hunt

And fuschia, get the fuschia one!

Anonymous said...

hi hun...

just wanted to say hello and hope that all is well and your job hunting is going great.

i recently awarded you in my blog. please read my post when you have a chance and collect your award.

keep smiling girlie, we are all rooting for you.